Stage42–48 m
3.5 to 4 years
They can tell stories, and also make them up
Imagination is in full flower while rules and consequences start to make sense. Most "lying" at this age is not a moral failing but a blurred line between imagining and remembering.
What to feed
- Milk
- 350-500ml a day.
- Meal pattern
- Three meals and two snacks, largely in step with the adults.
Can start eating
- After age 4, nuts can be introduced gradually, safest chopped or ground
Not yet
- Whole nuts are still best left until 4-5 and eaten sitting down
- Sugary drinks
- Eating in front of a screen
Worth knowing
- Bring them shopping and cooking — one of the most effective ways to reduce fussiness
- Avoid deals like "finish your dinner and you can watch cartoons". It turns food into currency
- Teach them to read their own hunger and fullness: "is your tummy still hungry?"
- Regular family meals at one table correlate long-term with both academic and emotional outcomes
How much sleep
10-13 hours a day
- Daytime
- Many children stop napping
If the nap is gone, bedtime needs to move earlier. Nightmares and night terrors are common now. A nightmare wakes them and they want comfort; a night terror does not wake them and they do not recognise you — do not wake them, just keep them safe.
Vaccines in this stage
No scheduled vaccines in this stage.
What most children do by now
Gross motor
- Hops on one foot
- Catches a ball
- Rides a bike with stabilisers
- Does forward rolls
Fine motor
- Draws a person with a body
- Copies a cross and a square
- Cuts along a straight line
- Does up buttons alone
Language
- Recounts a complete event
- Uses because and so
- Recites simple rhymes
- Grammar largely correct
Social and cognitive
- Has preferred playmates
- Negotiates and compromises
- Understands turn-taking and simple rules
- Starts caring about fairness
This is what most children manage in this window, not a pass mark. A few months either way is common. The signals worth acting on are in the doctor section below.
Height and weight reference for this ageWhen to see a doctor
If any of these apply, do not wait for the next routine check.
- Speech still unclear to others
- No cooperative play with peers
- Cannot draw a person, extreme difficulty holding a pencil
- Cannot follow any simple rule
- Extreme tantrums with no reduction in frequency
- Attention so short that nothing can be sustained for more than a few minutes
What to practise
- 01
Board games with real rules
How · The simplest board or card games, played strictly by the rules. Allow the disappointment of losing without changing the rules.
Why · Following rules and tolerating loss is one of the most practical school-readiness skills, and it can only be learned through actual play.
- 02
Story tennis
How · You start: "once there was a cat." They add a line. Keep alternating.
Why · Narrative structure, causality and vocabulary all at once, and it feels like play rather than practice.
- 03
A visual routine chart
How · Draw a picture sequence: brush teeth, get dressed, pack the bag. Let them tick it off.
Why · A visual sequence is ten times more effective than verbal nagging, and it builds executive function.
Day to day
- Most "lying" is confusion between wish and reality. Skip the label and ask "did that really happen, or do you wish it had?"
- Start paying attention to pencil grip, without insisting on writing
- Annual vision check; under an hour of screen time a day
- Teach home address, parents’ names and a phone number
Common questions
- They have started lying.
- Before age 4, most lying is imagination, wishful thinking or avoiding blame, not character. Use fewer interrogations ("did you do this?") and more description plus solution ("the milk spilled, let us clean it up together"), and the motive to lie shrinks.
- Will dropping the nap affect their growth?
- Growth hormone is released mostly during deep night sleep, so what matters is the total and quality of night sleep, not the nap itself. If the nap is gone, move bedtime earlier.