Stage48–60 m
4 to 5 years
They start genuinely caring what other children think
Peer relationships become the centre of life and emotional regulation improves markedly. This is also where school readiness starts, and attention, self-control and expression matter far more than how many characters they can read.
What to feed
- Milk
- 350-500ml of milk or dairy a day.
- Meal pattern
- Three meals and two snacks, at about half an adult portion.
Can start eating
- Essentially unrestricted
Not yet
- Sugary drinks, the leading cause of tooth decay and excess weight at this age
- Large amounts of processed snacks
Worth knowing
- Start watching the weight curve. Ages 4-6 are the critical window for adiposity rebound
- Aim daily for two servings of dairy, one egg, one of meat or fish, and five of fruit and vegetables
- Make water the default drink and keep other drinks for occasions
- Let them serve themselves so they learn to judge their own portion
How much sleep
10-13 hours a day
- Daytime
- Generally none needed
A fixed bedtime at this age is directly linked to next-day mood and concentration. No screens in the hour before bed.
Vaccines in this stage
VaricellaDose 2
4 years · Self-paid
Self-paid. Two doses protect notably better than one
Oral polio (bOPV)Dose 4
4 years · National programme (free)
What most children do by now
Gross motor
- Hops, and starts skipping rope
- Some ride a two-wheeler
- Throws and catches competently
- Clearly better balance
Fine motor
- Writes their own name, or parts of it
- Draws a detailed person with fingers and hair
- Copies a triangle
- Uses scissors well
Language
- Tells a story with a beginning and an end
- Uses complex sentences
- Starts getting jokes and puns
- Recognises some letters and numbers
Social and cognitive
- Has stable friendships
- Comforts others
- Waits and takes turns
- Begins to grasp that others think differently
This is what most children manage in this window, not a pass mark. A few months either way is common. The signals worth acting on are in the doctor section below.
Height and weight reference for this ageWhen to see a doctor
If any of these apply, do not wait for the next routine check.
- Cannot play with peers at all
- Speech still hard to understand
- Extreme shyness or impulsivity that clearly disrupts daily life
- Cannot dress, eat or toilet independently
- Attention problems that seriously affect group activities
- Signs of vision trouble: squinting, head tilting, holding things very close
What to practise
- 01
Games that need restraint
How · Red light green light, statues, freeze games — anything that requires holding still.
Why · These train inhibitory control directly, and inhibitory control is one of the strongest predictors of classroom performance.
- 02
Read books with a plot
How · Short chapter stories. Stop halfway and ask "what do you think happens next?"
Why · Prediction and inference are the core of reading comprehension, and they should be practised well before decoding.
- 03
Own the chores
How · Two or three fixed jobs: laying the table, watering plants, putting their clothes away. No reward, because this is what members of a household do.
Why · Longitudinal research links childhood chores with adult responsibility and work outcomes.
Day to day
- Annual vision check. Two hours outdoors a day remains the best-evidenced protection against myopia
- Baby teeth start falling out around 5-6. Consider fissure sealants once molars come through
- Teach safety basics: crossing roads, who to find if lost, not going with strangers
- School readiness is about sitting still, following instructions and expressing needs, not about how much they can read
Common questions
- Should they be learning phonics and arithmetic at five?
- What actually matters for the transition to school is three things: sitting and following multi-step instructions, expressing their own needs clearly, and managing their bag and the toilet. Get those right and school will teach the content. It does not work the other way round.
- Our child is being left out. What do we do?
- Listen to the whole story before offering solutions, so they feel understood. Then rehearse specific lines through role play: "I want to play too, can I join?" If it is persistent and targeted, raise the facts with the teacher rather than expecting a child to fix it alone.