Stage36–42 m
3 to 3.5 years
The first world that does not contain you
Most children start preschool here. Social rules, a group schedule and self-care all arrive at once, and a visible period of regression — clingier, more tearful — is normal.
What to feed
- Milk
- 350-500ml of milk or dairy a day.
- Meal pattern
- Meals at preschool plus breakfast and dinner at home.
Can start eating
- Essentially unrestricted
Not yet
- Whole nuts, jelly cups, hard sweets
- Sugary drinks
- Very large or very late dinners
Worth knowing
- Eating little at preschool and a lot at home is a normal adjustment pattern
- Do not turn "what did you eat today" into an interrogation — it makes food a source of pressure
- Breakfast must include protein such as egg or dairy. Morning concentration depends on it
- Keep packed snacks low in sugar
How much sleep
10-13 hours a day
- Daytime
- Naps at preschool; some children no longer need one
Fatigue rises once preschool starts, so bring bedtime forward by half an hour. At this age, insufficient sleep usually looks like hyperactivity and emotional volatility rather than drowsiness.
Vaccines in this stage
Meningococcal ACDose 1
3 years · National programme (free)
What most children do by now
Gross motor
- Stands on one foot for three seconds or more
- Runs, jumps and dodges obstacles
- Climbs stairs unaided
Fine motor
- Draws a person (a head with two legs)
- Dresses and undresses mostly alone
- Does up large buttons
Language
- Speaks in full sentences and tells a simple story
- Asks why
- Knows their own name, age and sex
Social and cognitive
- Cooperative play with peers
- Begins to understand rules
- Says "I do not like that"
- Acts out adult roles
This is what most children manage in this window, not a pass mark. A few months either way is common. The signals worth acting on are in the doctor section below.
Height and weight reference for this ageWhen to see a doctor
If any of these apply, do not wait for the next routine check.
- Speech others cannot understand, or no complete sentences
- Cannot play with other children at all
- Cannot run or jump, markedly clumsy
- Completely unable to eat or dress themselves
- Severe separation anxiety with no improvement after two months
- Skill regression
What to practise
- 01
Take "why" seriously
How · Give a real answer to at least a few why questions a day. When you do not know, say "let us look it up together".
Why · Children whose questions are taken seriously keep asking. Children who are brushed off stop. Curiosity is consumable.
- 02
Draw people and colour
How · Ask them to draw the family and tell you who each one is. Do not correct the proportions.
Why · The draw-a-person task is a classic developmental measure — the number of details tracks cognitive development.
- 03
Tidy up as a routine
How · One fixed place for toys, five minutes of tidying before bed, the same song every time as the cue.
Why · Procedural household habits are easiest to install between 3 and 4. After that window it costs far more effort.
Day to day
- Getting sick often after starting preschool is normal — six to eight respiratory infections a year. The immune system is building its files
- Annual vision screening. Amblyopia needs to be caught before age 6 for the best outcome
- Start teaching body autonomy: which parts nobody else touches, and that discomfort should be said out loud to an adult
- Road safety: keep using a car seat until at least 135cm tall
Common questions
- They are ill constantly since starting preschool.
- This is the expected cost of group life, not weak constitution. Protect sleep, keep the diet balanced, wash hands, and get the flu vaccine. It usually drops off markedly in the second year.
- Another child took their toy or pushed them. Should we teach them to hit back?
- Teach the words and the ask for help first: "that is mine, please give it back", "I am going to tell the teacher". At the same time be clear: hitting is wrong, but you are allowed to protect yourself. More important than any single rule is that they know they can tell you about it at home.